There have been a lot of articles recently about how entitled millennials are as a generation. (Full disclosure: I’m a millennial.) They say we’re lazy and privileged, not used to working hard, etc. Well, I’m going to make things easy and just throw out a list here of a few things I feel entitled to.

1. It’s weird, but: breathing? Like when I inhale, I just automatically have to exhale. Definitely not the only generation where this happens, so maybe stop calling the kettle black, Baby Boomers.

2. I have definitely said things were “on fleek” but I don’t know what that means. I have never even looked it up on Urban Dictionary. I just used context clues, and it’s always turned out okay for me. Actually, “on fleek” has kind of become passé so I would say I made it through that trend unharmed.

3. My body always has to be 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s like super specific, but it’s just the way God made me! I feel like this has got to be a big problem for Olds because most workplaces I’ve been in are super cold, but I try not to be a menace to society; when I fill out those human resource disability forms, I sometimes answer, “Prefer not to answer.” My temperature, my problem, you know? I’ll wear a hoodie, it’s fine.

4. Staring directly at the sun.

5. Food is nice, but am I entitled to it? I think so. Isn’t that in the Declaration of Independence? I would say food gets to go under “life” in “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Although, if you ask enough millennials, I’m sure you’ll hear something to the effect of “Oh my God, food is EVERYTHING” which is also totally fair.



The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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