The internal monologue of a first time spin student:
Before the Class:
9:00 am – I think I should sign up for a spin class tonight. Oh my goodness there are so many fun themed classes! I want to do them all!
9:10 am – Alright, buckle down and pick one. How about Rihanna, Kanye West & Kid Cudi?
11:45 am – Okay, you gotta drink a lot of water before class. You cannot be dehydrated tonight!
2:00 pm – I’m not doing this. I should call them. I have a stomach ache. Nope. Not doing this.
2:02 pm – You bought a class pass dummy. Your locked in. You have to do it.
5:00 pm – I should go home and get ready. Or is there any other work I can do here…
5:46 pm – So do I eat something beforehand? I think you’re suppose to eat a light meal. I think you’re suppose to eat a banana. Yes. I’ve heard specifically to eat a banana before working out.
5:52 pm – I don’t have a banana.
5:58 pm – Okay, I’m not going to eat anything then.
6:02 pm – But wait! What if I pass out. I haven’t eaten since lunch. I mean. I should eat right?
6:04 pm – Water. Just bring water. You’ll be fine.
6:11 pm – Let’s check the website again. They provide shoes. I should be there 15 minutes ahead of time and bring my own water.
6:14 pm – So do I wear my sneakers there? I mean they’re going to give me the shoes I need…right?
6:17 pm – But I have big feet. What if they don’t have my shoe size!
6:19 pm – I’m sure they have shoes that will fit you.
6:29 pm – Alright. Guess I should head over…
6:30 pm – You need to leave now so you can get there 15 minutes ahead of time. That’s what the website recommends.
At the Studio:
6:45 pm – The door to this studio is in a back alleyway? That’s sketchy right? Is this studio real. Is this a legitimate place? Did I just give my money to some fraudulent scam?
6:46 pm – Oh…and this class is in a basement…
6:47 pm – Get the shoes. Get the shoes. Do I have to tell her it’s my first class? Probably. I don’t know how to set up a bike.
6:49 pm – Where should I sit? What if someone tries to talk to me. No thank you…
6:53 pm – Remember the number 15. That’s your seat height. 15. 15! 15!
6:55 pm – Wait the class doesn’t start for 5 more minutes. Why are these people peddling.
6:59 pm – Now I see why this seat was open. Everyone is sitting in front of the fans! Well this should be fun…
7:00 pm – This instructor is way too jazzed up for 7:00 pm on a Tuesday.
7:04 pm – Follow the beat of the song? What does that even mean. I don’t have rhythm.
7:05 pm – Two turns of resistance? We just started this class. Don’t we get some warm up time?
7:06 pm – So many different hand positions….
7:11 pm – I really should have sat in front of the fan.
7:13 pm – I didn’t know I had the capability to sweat this much…
7:15 pm – Water. I need water. Just sips. Not gulps.
7: 18 pm – Yup. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
7:21 pm – There is no clock in here! I need to know how much longer until this nightmare is over.
7:24 pm – Wait what. She just said to close my eyes? Does she want me to lose my goodies all over this peppy sorority girl sitting in front of me.
7:27 pm – Time for arm exercises. Two pound weights. This should be easy peasy.
7:31 pm – This is not easy peasy…
7:36 pm – This is the most useless towel ever. It’s scratchy as hell. Is it even getting the sweat off my face, or is it just acting as an exfoliator.
7:39 pm – I’m getting the hang of this. Still can’t find the beat though. Fake it till you make it right!
7:43 pm – Cool down! This is done. It’s over. If I could break out into dance right now I would. But I’m basically a walking bag of jello right now.
After the Class:
7:47 pm – Why would someone subject themselves to that? I’m not going back.
7:53 pm – Or maybe I am…
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