It’s October! That means Halloween is creeping up on us. Halloween is one of the most entertaining holidays. A major part of that comes from the ability to scare someone at any given moment in time, for whatever reason. And scaring people is so much fun! If you’re lucky you can scare someone so good that they will develop a lifetime fear. A phobia! How cool is that? Don’t you want to leave that kind of impression on somebody? Sure you do.
We can do this with small gags, pranks, and even stories. For example: one time in school a girl told me that if my bed is directly in front of a mirror and I wake up at 3 a.m. and stare at the mirror for a minute, then my reflection will become sentient, get off the bed and walk through the mirror! To this day, I no longer own any mirrors in my room. I can attest to this with a photograph of my room and the fact that I have not been killed by my own reflection. Wouldn’t you like to have the same means of scaring someone just as easily and efficiently?
Now, my job as a 20-year-old is to ensure that you scare your neighbors and peers in the coolest way possible. Here are my top 6 scares that anyone can do!
1. Buy several Ouija boards. Wait until late hours of the night and drive to various neighborhoods. Neatly place a Ouija board on some random doorsteps. For extra fun leave a note on top of the board that reads, “Help me.”
2. Go to a local park. Stand outside a restroom. Wait for someone to walk inside and use a stall. Turn off all of the lights, and close all the doors to ensure total darkness. Begin yelling. Make your yelling incrementally louder every 15 seconds to ensure terror.
3. If you have a roommate, wait for them to leave the house. Purchase a tarantula. Approach a half eaten or already opened cereal box. Put the tarantula inside. Wait for your roommate to eat some cereal. To diffuse tension with your roommate say something clever. Something like, “Whoa these cereal prizes get crazier every year.”
4. Ask someone, “What would you do if I died?” Regardless of the answer leave town and return only once a year on the very day you asked that question. You are now a ghost.
5. Get an old family photo album. Digitally scan every single picture. Use photoshop to add the image of a little girl into every photo, make sure the image is the same every time! Now, go to your mom, dad, or grandparent and ask them who she is.
6. Travel to a small town with a bunch of farms, preferably one with a cornfield. Find their scarecrow out in the field. Discard the scarecrow, remove the scarecrow body. Dress up in the exact clothing the scarecrow was wearing. Walk to the home of the farmer/owner. Tell them you have been given life, you are ready to be their child. Commit to this as long as you can.
There you have it! These Halloween pranks and scares are sure to become classics. Please do all of them. Honestly just do #3. Record it. So funny. Happy Halloween!
The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!