Hi Pinkberry. 
Allow me to paint you a picture: It’s the last Sunday before Fall officially begins and I’ve just made an impossibly delicious salmon dinner. I cooked the fish in a pan with olive oil and freshly chopped garlic; cherry tomatoes and baby arugula kept it company. My boyfriend was devastated by how incredible it was. 
We wanted to top this meal off with something light yet sweet. Enter Pinkberry stage right. 
After a couple of dynamite samples we had both reached a decision when we suddenly remembered that we had a free, medium sized Pinkberry thanks to our rewards card. The night just kept getting better and better… or so we thought. 

The thoughtful employee helping us, Danny*, offered to scan my Pinkberry card (a card I never leave home without) to confirm we indeed had a free one.  

My boyfriend and I chatted excitedly while our main man took my card to the register, the promise of a free medium sized yogurt looming closely in our future. 
We were reliving some of our favorite parts of the salmon dinner and I was just about to delve into my thoughts on how the acidity of the cherry tomatoes really brought a refreshing element to the dish when Danny returned. Something was off, the shell of a man who stood before me was not the Danny I knew.  
He was pale, had he just seen a ghost? I would find out momentarily, that no, he hadn’t seen a ghost… he had seen something much worse. 
“You have zero points on your card.” Danny stated defeatedly. 
I almost shrieked. 
“Zero?” My boyfriend held onto my arm to stabilize me. 
“Your points expire after thirty days,” Danny managed to choke out. 
“Thirty days? Expire?” I heard my boyfriend ask these words and yet they came to me from far away. This couldn’t be reality. 
“Yeah, you have thirty days to claim your free medium sized Pinkberry or else your points go down to zero. I’m so sorry.” Danny said. 
I was shaken to my core. No one had ever informed me that the points expire after thirty measly days. Not once. Had we known, we would have found the time and strength to gather the free one. Our free yogurt that we had worked so hard for. 
Absolutely crushed, we paid for our two small yogurts. No toppings. We didn’t dare. 
“So now you’re at two points,” Danny offered. 
But it was too late. The damage had been done. 
Which brings me to the present. I am left with many emotions I am slowly starting to process. Why do the points expire after thirty days? It’s just a medium sized yogurt. And if they absolutely must expire, why had no one ever informed us? Why? Why are we being punished for information we didn’t receive. 
These recent events have left me with an unpleasant taste in my mouth that I’m not sure even your classic Original Tart flavor could cleanse. 
I feel cheated, I feel lied to, I feel yogurtless. Please advise.  
*Name has been changed for privacy. 




The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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