The Higgs Weldon

general submit caption contest submit


Important general rules (Please read!)

-All written submissions should be 1,000 words or fewer.
-Send your submission in the text of an email, not as an attachment.
-Be aware that we may make edits to your article before publishing it.
-Do not submit anything you’ve posted on Facebook, Tumblr, your blog, etc.
-All submissions should be previously unpublished content. If your piece is accepted elsewhere before we get back to you, please let us know.
-No fake news articles. (We love The Onion, but we are not The Onion.)

With your submission, please include the following:

1. Your name
You know this one.
2. The title of your piece
Make the title of your piece the subject line of your email too. Do not include anything else in the subject line like “Submission:” or your name or any mysterious ellipses.
3. Your Twitter handle if you have one
Twitter is fun, fun for everyone.

Where to send your submission

  • Fiction:
  • Miscellaneous:
  • Lists:
  • Cartoons:

Please submit your cartoons using Just upload your image and send us the link to it along with all the information listed above (name, title, Twitter).

  • One Liners:

One liners should be 140 characters or less. These can be new jokes or your tweets. Send these in the text of an email with your name and Twitter handle. Feel free to send up to ten at a time. If you have more than ten that you’d like to submit, please wait until we get back to you before sending us the next ten.

What to expect after you submit

A bit of a wait: Please be patient with us. It may take us up to a month to get to your piece, but we love you and we would never leave you.

An email if your piece is selected: If your piece is selected, we will send you an email telling you about it! We will also tell you when it will be posted on the site and all kinds of other pertinent information.

An email if your piece is not selected: Again, it may take up to a month to get back to you, but we will let you know either way.

Unfortunately, no payment: If at any time it becomes financially viable to pay our contributors, we will.

If you have any questions about all this, or need to contact us for any reason, let us know at



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