Texting is hard. I’m here to help. With the new iOS, Apple has unleashed upon us a set of over 300 new emoji. While we keep the classics like “pizza slice” and “pig snout for some reason,” the coming weeks may be a tough time for understanding what your text pals are trying to tell you with their non-words. The below guide is designed to help you through this period of transition.
= “Ho ho ho, for Christmas I got you this inclusion!”
A bunch of Canadian flags
= “I’m drinking but I’m only 19.”
All the flags
= “I’m drinking and these are all my favorite countries in descending order!”
White guy in a turban
= “I am confused.”
= “I hate having $600!”
Black blond guy
=“Should I bleach my hair?” or “Remember Sisqó?”
= “I hate having probably like $1000!” or “Is this a TV? I love TV.”
2 dads with 2 sons
= “This party is all dudes.”
= “I can’t pay my rent this month but I love my new phone and other Apple products!”
2 ladies kissing
= “I love you and we are both women” or “I love you and we are both women of nondescript race.”
And there you have it, your one stop guide to the new emoji keyboard. A new iOS is a tricky thing, but with this guide, you will be just fine! Have fun including others via iMessage!
The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!