This is the packing list that serves me well in all of my travels. I do not know why my fellow airplane passengers are always mad at me.

-my collection of bones

-eighteen 3 oz. Ziploc bags of pudding

-my novelty knife-shaped comb and comb cover

-2 flavors of toothpaste

-a pair of shoes

-a single spare left shoe

-an extra empty full-sized duffle bag

-a travel-sized shampoo bottle of my own blood in case of emergency

-a travel-sized shampoo bottle of my companion’s blood

-a coat

-a swimsuit

-a shirt

-7 pairs of pants

-3 pairs of underwear

-10 pairs of socks

-one fruit or animal never before introduced to the ecosystem I am entering



The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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