10. Charlie


Charlie is a twelve-year-old Maltese. He would like to know if you brought him any people food. He asks that you kindly do not bring younger dogs into his house, as they are exhausting.

9. Chewy


Chewy is a Culver City-based office dog who doubles as an office rug. He does not really care if you pet him or not.

8. Whiskey


Whiskey is a one-year-old Australian Shepherd with a penchant for jumping around. He learned how to use the treadmill so he can still get exercise when it’s rainy outside.

7. Abby


One-year-old Golden Retriever Abby lives in Irvine, CA. She likes play-biting and hanging out in the laundry room. She would appreciate it if you would please throw her rope toy for her.

6. Coco 


Coco, a teacup Chihuahua, spends most of her time having boogly eyes and curling up next to her owner’s neck wrap (pictured) because it’s warm. The neck wrap could not be reached for comment.

5. Seamus


Seamus, a five-year-old Pitbull mix, enjoys chew toys and playing dress-up. He has destroyed five sets of window blinds.

4. Sandy


Sandy is a Dachshund/Jack Russell Terrier mix residing in Hancock Park, CA. Her interest is her toy duck.

3. Blondie


Blondie is a Bulldog/Beagle mix whose interests include grunting, sighing, and waddling slowly. She also enjoys eating wet food and sometimes flies she finds in the house.

2. Lily


Lily, a fat Chihuahua, is the hardest-working dog in Hollywood. She works at Community Auto Repair, the mechanic’s garage down the street from me, as the resident dog. Lily’s work duties include greeting customers and resembling a large mouse.

1. Pistachio


Pistachio, a Chihuahua-something mix, refused repeated requests for interviews, on the grounds that she is already in bed.


The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please enjoy our jokes!