Let’s face it, we’ve all got plenty of keys. But, what’re we supposed to do with them? Well, try these two things out for size:

1. Unlocking Locks

If you’ve been unlocking locks by doing anything other than using a key, then you’ve been making life a lot harder for yourself. Keys are carved to exactly fit the pattern of locks, making keys the perfect way to unlock locks.

2. Locking Locks

Hey, remember those locks we were talking about unlocking? Well, now you can lock them too, using your new favorite thing–KEYS! Just as keys are carved to precisely fit the pattern of a lock for unlocking, they are also carved to precisely fit the pattern of a lock for locking.

Your brain getting fried from all this information? Just remember the easy “rule of unlock and lock,” which means keys can both unlock and lock locks.

Still confused? Alright, let’s back up. If you can’t remember the “rule of unlock and lock,” just remember that a key “fits” into a lock, which is what allows the key to unlock and lock it.

Okay, got it, now? No, well, in case you don’t, ever hear the phrase “lock and key?” Well, there’s a reason for that–keys both unlock and lock corresponding locks for which the keys are made for, so, hence the phrase “lock and key.”

Finally, if you’re still having trouble understanding how keys unlock and lock locks, I suggest calling a local locksmith, who will be able to give you a handy, in-person demonstration that should clear everything right up.

Check back with my column next time when I’ll cover “The One Most AMAZING Way to Use a Coffee Mug” (hint: involves using mug as a receptacle for the liquid substance coffee).


The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!