The World Genie Council’s Press Release On No Longer Accepting a Wish for More Wishes
By
August 3, 2015

genie
After deliberating for months and considering this issue for years, The World Genie Council (hereinafter “WGC”) has decided that heretofore genies will no longer accept a request for additional wishes as a valid wish for one or more of the three originally granted wishes. That is, no one who is granted three wishes by a genie can use one or more of those three wishes to wish for more wishes.

After empirically studying the data as well as gathering centuries of anecdotal evidence, it has become clear that the most common first wish for a wishee is for mass sums of money, the most common second wish is to have sex with someone very attractive and often famous and the third most common wish is for some number of more wishes, usually a million more wishes and often a gajillion more wishes or infinity more wishes. The WGC is not making this up. There is plenty of data to support the above contention. In fact, the second most common first wish is for additional wishes.  

To date, the WGC has accepted requests for additional wishes. However, going forward our previous policy has been revoked. The WGC will no longer accept additional wishes as a wish. As you can imagine, this wish “loophole” creates massive problems for genie workload. Also, it can effectively turn a genie into a slave to one person whose only claim to deserving such a benefit is that he or she was capable of rubbing a lamp. Yes, the WGC admits some culpability in this problem, given that we made the bar for access to genie services so low. Regardless, the above-set forth is now WGC policy.

This policy will not affect those who have rubbed a magic lamp prior to the issuing of this press release.  

Also, the WGC is looking into disregarding wishes for “happiness,” as it has become clear that happiness is both a relative and abstract term that is hard for a single genie to devise for a single wishee. Any planned changes on the WGC’s policy for accepting wishes for happiness will be forthcoming. At this time, wishes for happiness are still being accepted.

 Thank you. Your three (and only three) wishes are our command.

 

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