The Worst Things About Pinterest
By
March 20, 2013

Cutesy Racism

Like the rest of the western world, Pinterest is home to racist things masquerading as cute things. Take, for example, these “teepee cupcakes.”

Look, don’t force me to speak ill of cupcakes. You really have to try to make cupcakes objectionable. Yet here we are. At this point, we can pretty much agree that the “cute teepee” imagery is objectionable, right? Have we not done enough to Native Americans?

Misuse of the word “bold”

There are plenty of aesthetic choices that one could reasonably consider “bold.” You could wear a sleeping bag instead of clothes. You could line up a bunch of lamps that have a letter on each one, and they all spell out something offensive. And so forth.

Here’s a brief rundown of things that are considered bold on Pinterest, and nowhere else: beige paint, a couch that’s a different color than your wall, carrying a bouquet of papier-mâché flowers instead of real flowers at your wedding. Guys, THESE ARE JUST REGULAR THINGS. But somehow, no one on Pinterest has ever heard of anything, so everything is new and exotic. “You say you can combine flour and water to make a paste? How bold!”

Everything is “___ in a jar”

Does everything need to be in a jar? I offer that we could keep select things out of jars without any real downsides.

Useless Lifehacks

Pinterest is home to a lot of “lifehacks,” little tips for making your life run more smoothly. I’m all for this. My life is a mess. But some purported lifehacks don’t help me hack my life at all. I don’t need to cure my kid’s ear mites using four easy household remedies. First of all, I have no idea what an ear mite is. Do we even have them anymore? If we do, and your kid gets them, I’m going to go out on a limb and say, “see a doctor.” Tell them your kid has a malady from the old times.

Another lifehack I’d like to politely decline is “Know Your Heels,” a monstrosity of a “graph” showing twenty-five different types of high heels and their accompanying names.

For whom, I ask, is this a hack? You’re either a shoe designer, or you’re someone who does not need to know this information. END OF STORY.

Solving the Wrong Problem

Here’s a quote from Pinterest: “What to do with all those Christmas cards? Make them people’s contact photos for when they call you! That way you can enjoy them all year! : )”

This insane suggestion to give yourself busywork does not solve any problems. In fact, it creates more of them. The problem was never that you didn’t get to enjoy the cards for long enough. The problem was that Christmas cards take up too much mantel real estate, but you feel guilty throwing them out. In the proposed scenario, this problem still exists, but is now multiplied by the hours you must spend logging photos of Christmas cards and assigning them to the correct contacts in your phone.

These are very important problems. How can I help? Pin stuff you like. Don’t pretend it’s life changing. Just be like, “this recipe looks pretty good, I guess” and call it a day.


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