• I wish I’d tried to defuse the bomb instead of just yelling at it.

  • I wish I’d admitted that I forgot the bomb defusing robot, instead of wrapping myself in tinfoil and calling myself “Noah Bombbot.”

  • I wish I’d kept the mad bomber on the phone longer, instead of hanging up on him for not liking The Pixies.

  • I wish I hadn’t lied to my dad, Mayor Ronkowski, when he asked if the police diploma I drew was real.

  • I wish I’d cut the green wire instead of cutting that album of dis tracks titled “Bombs Ain’t Shit.”

  • I wish I’d talked to Carol instead of keeping all my problems inside (this is unrelated to that school blowing up).


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