Things I Do Regularly That 13-Year-Old Me Would Think Were Hella Tight but Make Current Me Kinda Sad
February 23, 2016

Get drunk and watch a Samurai movie alone

Not get out of bed until it’s guaranteed that I’ll be at least 15 minutes late for work

Read max two books a year

Own a bubbler

Believe in Bigfoot

Roll and smoke my own “commute joint” in my car

Own a car

Quote a Simpsons joke that requires a lot of set up

Not pay taxes

Sleep in a bedroom that’s lofted off the living room of a three bedroom apartment

Add meatballs to most meals

Make fun of dog owners for having and loving dogs

Remain emotionally invested in the trajectory of The Rock’s career

Add bourbon to my chamomile tea

Rewatch Predator


The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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