Things That Would Make Me Shake My Head, Chuckle and Say “I Could Get Used To This”
By
May 20, 2015

A perfect Sunday.

Catching a big ol’ fish and showing it off to my rugby buddies.

A hug from my son (estranged).

Sipping Coronas on the beach with Morgan Freeman after busting outta Shawshank.

Shawshank on TNT.

Walking through the doors of my start up’s new offices. The rooms are empty, but they’re full of potential. And you can’t beat that view. (The view is of New York City.)

A man holding a gun to my temple demanding that I use specific phrases.

A good Hooters.

A phone call from my wife (missing).

Hearing my single on the radio. (My single is called “Fuck Palace.”)

Getting the Nobel for whatever.

Feeling something, anything.

Looking in the mirror after swapping bodies with a real hunk.

Lucas.

 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


CARTOONS
jurassic park job app scan mini
OctoberCaptionwinner

facebookfooter twitterfooter tumblrfooter rssfooter

Sign up for our monthly email list!