Donald Trump and Thomas Jefferson share many similarities, including their measured words during times of crises. Each faced trying times… one faced The Revolutionary War while one faces Twitter users who don’t like him. Let’s look at how each responded to adversity by taking a little quiz. By each quote, fill in the blank with either a TJ or a DT indicating your answer.  Good Luck!

1. ___If I am to meet with a disappointment, the sooner I know it, the more of life I shall have to wear it off.

2. ___Happy Cinco de Mayo! The best tacos are made in Trump Tower Grill! I love Hispanics!

3. ___Man is an imitative animal. This quality is the germ of all education in him. From his cradle to his grave he is learning to do what he sees others do.

4. ___Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.

5. ___There is not in the British empire a man who more cordially loves a union with Great Britain than I do. But by the God that made me, I will cease to exist before I yield to a connection on such terms as the British Parliament propose.

6. ___The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.

7. ___The U.S. cannot allow EBOLA infected people back. People that go to far away places to help out are great-but must suffer the consequences!

8. ___Pervert alert. @RepWeiner is back on twitter. All girls under the age of 18, block him immediately.

9. ___We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

10. ___Despite the constant negative press covfefe

11. ___Wow, the economy is really bad! GROSS DOMESTIC PRODUCT down 0.7% in 1st. quarter – and getting worse. I TOLD YOU SO! Only I can fix.

12. ___They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends

13. ___Many people have commented that my fragrance, “Success”  is the best scent & lasts the longest. Try it & let me know what you think!

14. ___But this momentous question. Like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror.

15. ___@Deadspin guys are total losers—they had their story stolen right from under their bad complexions—other media capitalized!

16. ___No occupation is so delightful to me as the culture of the earth, and no culture comparable to that of the garden…But though an old man, I am but a young gardener.

17. ___Yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger did a really bad job as Governor of California and even worse on the Apprentice…but at least he tried hard!

18. ___When angry, count ten, before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.

19. ___Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest – and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault.

20. ___When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property.




The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


facebookfooter twitterfooter tumblrfooter rssfooter

Sign up for our monthly email list!