Dear Diary,

Eventful day yesterday. I cut off my left ear lobe. I have to say–huge mistake. You know how the ripping of your flesh is painful? I guess I just wasn’t thinking about that in the moment.

I wanted to write about this yesterday, but I was passed out in a pool of my own blood. Again, not a great experience.

The thing about ears is they help you hear things. Ultimately, I like hearing things. Hearing things is a big positive, and I wish I had been more focused on that. 

Hopefully, lesson learned.

You were not well at the time, but that’s still no excuse. Pay attention to your true spirit and not the distractions that get you so riled, Vincent.

You are not a loser, Vincent! You are following your dreams and it’s no matter if other people “get” your work or your path. In time, someday they might. Would you rather be a cobbler like your dad wanted or at least have a chance at doing something beautiful and lasting?

Had onion soup and half a baguette for lunch. Was starving. Hadn’t eaten at all the day before because of the aforementioned passing out from cutting off my ear lobe.


P.S. It’s a pretty starry night out. To be graced with such beauty is truly a thing of wonder. If I could ever capture a thing like that, wouldn’t that be beautiful and lasting.


The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please enjoy our jokes!


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