One hand is in her pocket, but what’s the other one up to?

Texting her mom back “k”

Clicking “Send All” on her Twitter drafts

Swiping left on Tinder

It’s in the other pocket

Paying for a Doritos Locos Taco because it’s her cheat day

Choosing the appropriate Kimoji to text

Requesting a ride on Uber

Fell asleep, woke up, and is now in the pins and needles stage

Making someone talk to it because the face don’t understand

Pointing to the name of her entrée on a menu at the new Chinese place around the corner



The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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