1475896377_library_2Please help us process your request by telling us the primary reason you are canceling your Audible subscription.

I am not intelligent enough to even listen to books; my ex-wife was right: all I really want to do is watch Bar Rescue.

I give up on everything I try: P90X, well-paying jobs, marriages. Why would this be any different?

I’m afraid of commitment, even at $14.95 a month.

I rushed into this membership the same way I rushed into my marriage.

I’d rather sit in silence and contemplate my failures on my way to work.

My wife recently canceled our family plan, and the Nokia flip phone I’ve resorted to using is not Audible compatible.

The narrator of Jonathan Franzen’s Purity had a strikingly similar voice to my wife’s attorney.

I never intended to pay for a subscription; I simply took advantage of Audible’s generous offer of two free credits. That’s what I do: I take and I take and I take and I never give anything back.

The money I’ll save every month will go toward child support and/or a bottle of bottom shelf whiskey.

 

 
 
 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes! 


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