Flip a coin over and over again while hyperventilating.
High-five anything that moves.
Insist people call you “Nonchalanto Laidbackawitz.”
Wink at parked cars.
Introduce yourself, then vomit.
Sweet shades, hands in pockets, scream at your therapist for not “fixing you.”
Lean against a tree with one hand, breathe heavily into a paper bag with the other.
Wear your “Just Chillin’ With My Boys” formalwear.
Shout, “EVERYBODY GIVE ME A SECOND TO THINK,” and quickly follow it up with, “…bros!”
Hang inside a cool couch fort you made at 2 a.m. with your cool twenty-something friends. Also: you’re curled up in the fetal position.
The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!