Sure, you think your job sucks, well, try being me. I’m The Grim Freaking Reaper. Do you how hard it is to be The Grim Reaper? Well, let me tell you, I don’t get paid for escorting people to the afterlife. Nope! So, I have to have a day job at Enterprise Rental Cars Customer Service Department. Yeah, I have to sit there all day like a corporate schmoe in some windowless office.
My real passion is death, but what am I dealing with all day strapped to a headset? Whether or not some a-hole middle manager business traveler in the Enterprise Plus rewards program got the Hyundai Sonata he wanted or not.
And, let me tell you, at Enterprise, no one gives a crap that I’m THE Grim Reaper. They even made me go by “Jeff” on the phone, because “Jeff” sounds “friendlier” than “Grim” or “Mr. Reaper.” Whatever…
I put down The Devil as one of my references and you’d think that would’ve at least gotten me my own office…nope — cubicle.
And, I’m not allowed to bring my scythe to work. Enterprise has a strict “no weapons or items that could be perceived as a weapon at work” policy. It’s not a weapon — the people I’m escorting to Hades are already dead! Hello? It’s just part of my look. It’s a power move, an intimidation thing — I have no real weapon-like use for a scythe.
I’ve gotta wear this lame Enterprise polo shirt even though no one can see me on the phone. Plus, the coffee sucks — it’s some Folgers b.s. or something — and, they do stock sodas but they cost a quarter. The only restaurant in walking distance is a Subway — yeah, great, I want to eat stale bread with some tuna salad on it that was served out of an ice cream scooper?
So, look, if you think your job sucks, try being me, The Grim Reaper, aka Jeff the customer service rep at Enterprise Rental Cars.
The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!