FROM: Sean Barnhart
TO: [All Totally Legal Imports LLC]
SUBJECT: I’m pleased to announce that we’re promoting Jeff to Drug Elephant.
Anyone who’s had the privilege to work with Jeff Hellberg knows the kid works his butt off. So, I’m sure it’ll come as no surprise that the hardest working Drug Mule around is now taking the leap to Drug Elephant.
If there’s one thing that Totally Legal Imports LLC values, it’s guts. Jeff’s got ‘em, plain and simple. The kid’s got a colon like a flatbed. He’ s the human carry-on: Undersized, overstuffed and handled by every stewardess on the continent…But seriously, when your back’ s against the wand there’ s no other guy you want with you. He’ s true blue. (more…)
8:00 am — Carla and I arrive at the base of the mountain. Carla asks if I brought the water like I said I would. I didn’t.
8:05 am — My legs are killing me. I ask Carla how far she thinks we are from the top. She laughs and doesn’t answer the question. And to think, she’s the one who told our couple’s counselor that we don’t talk enough.
8:15 am — I hear a noise in the distance. Carla says that this area has been known to have bear sightings. I tell Carla I fought a bear once. She laughs. I think she’s impressed.
8:25 am — I throw up. I haven’t worked out in over a year, so my body can’t handle this kind of exercise. I fall down on the trail, and when Carla turns around to help me I vomit all over her.
8:30 am — Carla is still mad about me throwing up on her. She acts like she’s never been puked on for making someone exercise before. (more…)
An act of kindness I saw on public transportation
The first 25 minutes of a documentary
My high school production of Our Town
What’s amazing about the Marvel Universe
How funny someone else in the comedy community is (either someone way below my level who “could use the bump” or someone with a TV show) (more…)
We’re back, again! Get your tickets right heeeere.