The Higgs Weldon
Which Bunny Rabbit is the Most Representative of Jesus Dying for your Sins?
By
May 1, 2015

 

bunny

Which Bunny Rabbit is the Most Representative of Jesus Dying for your Sins?

Choose which adorable bunny serves as the best analogy for your relationship with Jesus Christ.

An Extraterrestrial Study of People’s Television Ads
By
April 30, 2015

For decades we have been receiving a series of 30-second transmissions from a planet known as “World.” The transmissions originated from an alien race that calls itself “people.” In an attempt to determine whether or not contact with this creature might benefit our race we have conducted a comprehensive survey of these transmissions and have gathered the following information about the people race.

1) Peoples are mostly white, but sometimes come in other shades.

2) They consume a beverage called “beer” as part of a mating ritual.

3) During this mating ritual, the white male of the species grows facial hair and dawns a flannel garment over his shoulders and torso while the female puts her large breasts on display. (more…)

Prescription Drugs For Your Musical Preferences
By
April 29, 2015

Pop Country

Symptoms: You’re in constant heartache. The stylings of Taylor Swift, Blake Shelton and Lady Antebellum remind you of the sadness you felt when you were alone for a bit. Shooting pains course through your veins as you long to crack a cold one with the one you love, once again.

Prescription: Lipitor—for lowered cholesterol and other cardiovascular problems. (Side effects may include, once your heart is healed returning to the very thing that was bothering it; i.e. that cold-hearted jerk named Kenneth) 

Electronic Dance Music (EDM)

Symptoms: You have pulsating sound waves rushing through your head. Strobe lights cause you to convulse (dance). These episodes rarely subside, and those closest to you grow more worried each day. You’ve really heard a killer track if you end up face down having a seizure.

Prescription: Topamax—for epileptic episodes. (Side effects may include not being a good dancer anymore.) (more…)

Top Google Searches
By
April 28, 2015

Google analytics shows the following demographics’ most popular search terms.

College Graduate
Fortune 500 companies
Jobs with high starting salary
How much do most people lie on their resume
Can you get in trouble for lying on your resume
Any jobs
Internships
Part time job
Suicide hot line
Mcdonalds cashier
Success story people moving back home
Grad schools (more…)

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