I can’t overemphasize the importance of getting an early start every day. As leader of this new family, I have to set a good example. Things were pretty lax when I came on board, but little by little they’re learning how to do things the right way—the Ranger Way!
4:30am Up and at ‘em. Time to for an early workout! Run three circles around the woman’s side of the bed and pee on the rug.
4:40am Head to the kitchen for breakfast. Knock over my food and water then return to the woman’s side of the bed whimpering that I’m starving.
4:50am Find the cat’s litter box and go for a morning roll. It’s best for an important puppy like me to look and smell fresh.
5:10am Organize toys according to rope length or bone texture. Make sure squeaky chipmunk toys and squeaky Mr. Squirrel are ready for action. (more…)
If you’re anything like me, you generally judge people solely on who they think was responsible for the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in Dallas on November 22nd, 1963. Instead of choosing who you associate yourself with based on their “personality” or other arbitrary measurements, this is far simpler and more efficient. The JFK assassination is one of few topics in the American zeitgeist of which there are dozens of opinions one could have. And people conveniently fall in to specific categories based on their belief.
6. The Warren Commission’s Findings
Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in killing the President, shooting him from the fifth floor of the Texas Schoolbook Depository. As reported in the findings of the Warren Commission. (more…)
Is there something strange in your domestic space and/or object of personal value? Well, you know who to Whatsapp message: the Smithee Brothers, licensed ghostbusting professionals. Trust in our years of experience in the paranormal and the hunting of such, and let us rid you of that ghostly invader! Arrange for us to do a risk-free examination (travel expenses not incl.) of your situation (full discretion guaranteed), so that we can properly assess the type of specter we’d be dealing with. Pricing categories range from “nuisance from the beyond” at $499 to “full-blown parademon nightmare” at a very reasonably priced $3,499.
Full disclosure: Often enough, we’ll find that personal stress and/or living in an old house which has been labelled haunted by the local children and/or sightseeing tour guides will add to the overall rate of imagined ghostliness. But hey, at least you’ll have proof that it’s all in your head – so get your peace of mind today! (more…)
Community = A Really Wonky Uni
Entourage = A Buncha Bruvs
Cheers = Shite Pub, Innit?
Veep = Not The Prime Minister, The Other One
Cash Cab = Q’s In The Pound Carriage (more…)