The Higgs Weldon
Our New Designer Is Great. He Is Also a Camel.
March 27, 2015


I’m really excited to announce our latest hire. His name is Sam and he will be our new lead graphic designer. He comes to us after years of working on some of the world’s most renowned brands. If you check out his portfolio, I’m sure you will all agree that his work is excellent, and that he will be a great addition to our agency.

And if you look closely at his new hire picture, you will notice that he is a camel.

Sam will play a crucial role in our agency. As our lead designer, he will ensure that our taste level remains world-class, and that the quality of our work remains as sharp and forward-thinking as possible.

It still remains to be seen how Sam manages to type on a keyboard — or use a design tablet for that matter — as he is literally a dromedary camel originating from the deserts of sub-Saharan Africa. (more…)

Dante’s Inferno According To Technology Use
March 26, 2015

1. Limbo - This is where grandparents reside. They were around before technology really came into existence, therefore they’re stuck in state of confusion and constant questioning.

2. Lust - Anybody who currently uses Tinder. These souls are glued into a chair looking at a slideshow of photos they would’ve swiped left for the rest of eternity.

3. Gluttony - This is where you will find people whose cell phone battery dips below 75% before getting out of bed in the morning. Their souls are cast away in a room that has no outlets in which they can recharge their phones.

4. Greed - Those people with more than two devices on their person at any time. They are forced to stand in front an electronic store that is having a “going out of business” sale for all of eternity—without being able to buy anything. (more…)

Zach’s Monthly Tech Roundup
March 25, 2015

Hey folks. If you’re anything like me, you love to stay on top of the newest tech trends. Well look no further than Zach’s Monthly Tech Roundup for all the latest and greatest in the tech world. Let’s see what we have this month:

1. Gay-dar


Once a dream only James Bond could enjoy, Gay-dars have become commercially available in the last few years! Curious about a co-worker/friend/family member? Not anymore! Pop on the Gay-dar, stare down your target, and within seconds you’ll know which team they’re playing for! Some people may say that this is an “invasion of privacy” and “none of your business.” Tell them to shut up and talk to the ‘Dar! (more…)

Dad, I’m Sorry I Didn’t Get Around to Playing Catch with You After You Came Back as a Ghost to This Baseball Diamond I Built on a Cornfield
March 24, 2015

Look, Dad, I know you have to disappear back into the corn, but I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I know you came all this way to play catch, and I really wanted it to happen, too. I just, well, the time got away from me is all.

Did you ever have, like, that one really important thing you needed to do on a particular day, and you think about it all day, constantly, because you absolutely cannot forget to do that one thing? It gets to be a mantra, just repeating that task to yourself all day long that eventually it just fades away as background noise, and ironically, the thing you told yourself to do a thousand times slips your mind and you totally forget to do it. (more…)

25 Things You Don’t Know About Me
Laurie and Greg Will Never be Proud of You
5 Hallmark Cards From Your Grandfather
Dental X-Ray of a Cold War Russian Super Spy
St. Patrick’s Day Got the Best of Me Again
My March Sadness Bracket
Temporary Assignment Details
Sexy Pikachu’s Livejournal, Part 2
What to Expect from Kanye’s Kraft Singles Karaoke Party
Clickbait for Accountants
I’m Just Waiting for the Perfect Chance to Fight You Under a Rainbow
Earth on Heaven
Sexy Pikachu’s Livejournal, Part 1
Ways to Skin a Cat
Farewell from a Charter School Kindergarten Teacher

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