The Higgs Weldon
Justine Barron’s Five-Year Plan to Success (and Possible MacArthur Genius Award)
September 30, 2014

Year 1 Goal: Give a Ted Talk

This year, two alumni from my high school won MacArthur Genius Awards before me. That makes three total. That’s okay, because I’m still working on mine. My peers have already covered fields such as mathematical and computational discovery and the creative arts, leaving room for my wheelhouse – talking about big ideas. 

To make sure that I am on a clear path towards my goal, I turned to the best practices in visualization and goal setting. I started by completing a “SMART” Goal-Setting chart:

smartchart1 (more…)

Being a Court Jester Is Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be
September 29, 2014

When I tell people what I do for a living, they always say, “Wow, that sounds like a fun job,” “must be fun to laugh all day,” or something to that effect. But, let me tell you, being a court jester is not all it’s cracked up to be.

Originally, I had hoped to perform the plays of a new up-and-coming playwright named William Shakespeare. He’s from Stratford-upon-Avon, so, you know, he has a very strong Stratford-upon-Avon voice. You can really hear the Stratford-upon-Avon influence in his work. Anyway, if you haven’t heard of him, I assure you that you soon will.

When I moved to London from my small village, I was full of vigor and excitement. Everything about London appealed to me with the exception of the constant smallpox outbreaks. But smallpox aside, I was eager to leave my provincial hometown and prove myself in a metropolis. But, alas, London is not a forgiving place. I was lonely, soon penniless, and found myself residing in a boarding house barely fit for a smallpox outbreak. (more…)

Which Dog is Dumber?
September 26, 2014


Which Dog is Dumber?

See if you can figure out which dog is dumber!

LA is for Loners
September 25, 2014

Ah, young love. Sounds nice, right? Well I wouldn’t know, and neither would you. You and me, we’re young and single and miserable, and we live in glamorous Los Angeles, California. But that’s no reason we can’t try to have fun! LA is just about the least romantic city on earth, except for maybe like Detroit, or Kinshasa. Or somewhere in Siberia maybe. Which is good news for us, because that means it’s the perfect city to roll yourself off the couch and go out and do something alone! So here, my “friend,” are some things to do all by your self that will hopefully make you forget for one blissful moment your crushing loneliness and psychic pain. Enjoy!

1. Treat yourself to a nice meal! There’s no reason you can’t celebrate yourself, by yourself! Make reservations for one at a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try for a while, and dine distraction-free. Not having conversation or any human contact at all can really free you up to savor your meal. If you’re shy about being seen alone, try going out for lunch, when hot restaurants are less busy. Also, you can repeatedly tell the waiter that you’re waiting for a friend, and spend the whole hour staring angrily at your watch and sighing. (more…)

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The Higgs Weldon Live: Sept. 6!
Pistachio vs. City Councilman Paul Koretz

The least relatable thing about Breaking Bad was never the meth or the violence; it was a family eating hot breakfast together every morning.

Maggie Henry

I wish I was a rapper just so it’d be cool that I’m constantly sweating at work.

Jeremiah Budin

Everything happens for a reason I read in a fortune cookie at lunch two days ago when I was hammered.

Mark Peters

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Paige’s Guide to the Galaxy
by Paige Weldon


Dinner and a Movie
by Chase Bernstein


Man of Letters
by Raj Desai


Higgin’ with Mr. Robin
by Robin Higgins


Ghost Free Ghost Stories
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Scientific Fiction
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Life, Love and Other Mysteries
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Adam’s Book of Spells
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Hangin’ in There
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Kokkinos Has Spoke-inos
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Foreign Correspondent
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Songs are Sad and Unacceptable
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