The Higgs Weldon
Would You Like Clean Needles for Your Tattoo Today?
May 25, 2015

I don’t normally ask this because it doesn’t really come up. Usually the people who frequent this place–the regulars you might say–are happy with whatever. But seeing as how it’s your first time here and your first time with any sort of body modification whatsoever in fact, I’ll just go ahead and ask:

Would you like clean needles for your tattoo today or are these dirty needles fine?

No? Okay no problem. You seem a little concerned. Maybe I should clarify:

Perhaps “dirty” isn’t the best choice of word. It’s not as if I, say, dropped them on the floor and spilled hot cocoa all over them. But if you consider an object that has touched the bodily fluids of another person “dirty,” then yes, I guess these would qualify as “dirty needles.” (more…)

Banana Republic Online Reviews Have Gotten Too Personal
May 21, 2015



When I first bought my “Yacht Rock Socks” variety pack from Banana Republic, I was afraid they were going to be a little small. But the size medium pack was perfect for my size 10 feet. At the time, the only thing I found to be a little too tight were the sock’s cuffs, those quickly stretched out. Unlike my ex-girlfriend’, grip around my personal life! A whole different type of cuffs. Ha!

The fun vibrant boat pattern makes for a perfect bit of flare when you want to look extra nice for a business meeting, or moving out of your Brownstone apartment. What’s nicest about the variety pack is that it comes with both ankle and calf socks. (more…)

Things That Would Make Me Shake My Head, Chuckle and Say “I Could Get Used To This”
May 20, 2015

A perfect Sunday.

Catching a big ol’ fish and showing it off to my rugby buddies.

A hug from my son (estranged).

Sipping Coronas on the beach with Morgan Freeman after busting outta Shawshank.

Shawshank on TNT.

Walking through the doors of my start up’s new offices. The rooms are empty, but they’re full of potential. And you can’t beat that view. (The view is of New York City.) (more…)

8 Places You Need to Visit Before I Die
May 19, 2015


I’ve been diagnosed with a rare bone disease and the doctors have given me a few weeks at most. Here’s my list of the top places that someone with an able body, working bones, and bright future should visit. You know, if you have time.

1.     Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights)

This is a naturally occurring light phenomenon predominately seen in the high latitude regions of the world. The best times to see the lights are around the fall and spring equinoxes. I’m pretty sure I won’t make it ’til then, so go ahead. Go on without me. (more…)

Interview: Matthew Weiner Breaks Down The Brilliant “Mad Men” Finale
Top 5 Up and Coming Los Angeles Comedians to Wash 2015
A Letter from My Future Self
20 Pictures of Cyberspace I Found by Google Image Searching “Cyberspace”
23 Questions for Twins
Things “Out of Order” in This Courthouse
Global Warming 7-Day Weather Forecast
My Fast and Furious Best Man Speech
Single & Searching
Did You Just Eat a Weed Brownie or Are You Actually Having a Heart Attack?
7 Cops Who Are Definitely Pretending They’re Shooting Laser Guns
Robert Durst’s New TV Show
Which Bunny Rabbit is the Most Representative of Jesus Dying for your Sins?
An Extraterrestrial Study of People’s Television Ads
Prescription Drugs For Your Musical Preferences

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