The Higgs Weldon
A Yelp Review of God
September 1, 2015

When I first heard about God, I was really psyched about the concept. It sounds great — you ask for stuff you want, and then this God entity helps you out. But, now, after being on Earth for awhile, I gotta say that this God guy has a lot of room for improvement. I mean, you gotta give it up for God in certain departments, but, in other departments, it’s like what’re you thinking, God? Uh, TRY AGAIN! Even though you’re the all-knowing/all-powerful entity in charge of Earth, I’m calling you out. I’m not a hater, but sorry, God, that’s what this forum’s for.

First, so I don’t seem too negative, let’s run down some of the pluses of God. Great job on flowers, good work with the oceans, mountains, and other natural beauty stuff. Natural beauty is naturally beautiful… NUFF SAID. (more…)

The Higgs Weldon Live Says Goodbye to the Neon Venus
August 31, 2015

Don’t miss our final show at the Neon Venus this Saturday!


I Livetweeted an Entire Airplane Helping a Baby Get to Sleep
August 31, 2015



Get Hired Using This One Simple Hack: Clickbait in Your Cover Letter
August 28, 2015

Taylor Sade
is the name of the candidate…everything he has to say is brilliant

Los Angeles, CA
is where this candidate lives…does the commute seem reasonable?

(417) 773-6848 
is the answer revealed for how to reach this candidate by phone
will blow you away by how fast he can reply by email

RE: This Is The Most Iconic Entry-Level Job Opening Available

To Whom It May Concern, You Won’t Believe How Qualified I Am:

Stop what you’re doing and read this: I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this job opening get posted on Craigslist. But, what happened next is what truly shocked me: I realized I was the perfect fit for this position. (more…)

27 Ways to Know Whether or Not the Opossum Who Is Staring at You Is Going to Attack (as Determined by a Bear)
Amendments to “If You See Something Say Something”
Take as Directed
A Day in the Life of a Coffee Lover
Wrestlemania Matches: The Norton Anthology Of Literature Edition
Analysis Of Beta-Tested Tinder Profile Reviews
The Definitive Guide to Parenting
Cold Calling Jesus
Better Shoes for the Same Old You
Your Illuminati Today!
Deadly Missed Connection
2015 Ruddys (Paul Rudd Awards) Winners List
13 Reasons Why I Don’t Want to Have Kids
Dan Grunfeld’s Midwestern Yoga Studio Rules
We are Unable to Process Your Prayer at this Time

facebookfooter twitterfooter tumblrfooter rssfooter

Sign up for our monthly email list!