Hello, my name is Dr. Isen and I’m here to lead you from the crowded underground of New York City to the apex of your own consciousness. In just a few short stops, you’ll be transported to a state of bliss before you even step into your office, your classroom, or that coffee shop you pretend to write novels in while stalking your more successful college classmates on Facebook.
So close your eyes, take a deep breath, and feel the head of the sleeping man next to you droop slowly onto your bosom. A long exhale should depress your chest far enough that he falls slightly and straightens himself with minimal prodding from you. (more…)The Cast List
Below is the FINAL cast list for BHS’s fall production of Let’s Get Jaunty! the classic 1937 naval romp with music and lyrics by Cole Porter’s mentally ill half-brother, Jole. I want to stress again that these casting decisions are FINAL and NON-NEGOTIABLE and my office hours are ALWAYS CANCELLED no matter WHAT THE SCHOOL WEBSITE SAYS.
First Mate Cockney Ipswitch – Rodney Harrisburg (congrats!!!)
Ensign Shufflehoofer – Jake Davis
Virginia Sweetface – Candice Lipler (more…)A Yelp Review of God
When I first heard about God, I was really psyched about the concept. It sounds great — you ask for stuff you want, and then this God entity helps you out. But, now, after being on Earth for awhile, I gotta say that this God guy has a lot of room for improvement. I mean, you gotta give it up for God in certain departments, but, in other departments, it’s like what’re you thinking, God? Uh, TRY AGAIN! Even though you’re the all-knowing/all-powerful entity in charge of Earth, I’m calling you out. I’m not a hater, but sorry, God, that’s what this forum’s for.
First, so I don’t seem too negative, let’s run down some of the pluses of God. Great job on flowers, good work with the oceans, mountains, and other natural beauty stuff. Natural beauty is naturally beautiful… NUFF SAID. (more…)
Damn girl are you an 800 page book about Nazi concentration camps because everyone finds my fascination with you unsettling.
One man’s trash is another man’s trash, most likely.
If anyone would like to hear a list of things I don’t like, all you have to do is ask, or make eye contact, or be in my general vicinity.